I Loved You First by Reena Jacobs

Photo obtained from Goodreads

Author: Reena Jacobs

Publication: July 29, 2011 (Read July 2012)

E-book provided by author in exchange for a fair review. 

3 Stars

My best friend was more than just a best friend to me. Three words summed it up: I heart him. I’d never tell him though. I wasn’t stupid. Besides, what he’d told no one, but me, was a little something I wished I could forget… or ignore. He was gay. I guess gay wouldn’t be bad if I wasn’t so in love with him. Now it was just cruel.

Stereotypes run amok in this college love story: Parties, alcohol, hookups, and breakups. Alexandria Carmichael may find it a bit much as she deals with the unreturned love from the boy who completes her. When all is revealed, not only does she risk losing her best friend forever, but also herself. Without her childhood companion for support, Alexandria takes a journey of self-discovery but fears what she’ll find at the end.

Thank you to author Reena Jacobs for this e-book. This was a quick, interesting read that deals with relevant issues. The characters are well developed and I enjoyed the friendship aspect of Alex and Seth's relationship but struggled with her unrelenting feelings for him.  When we meet them, they're at the point where she's known for quite sometime, years in fact, that he will never be able to love her the way she wants him too yet she still pines in secret. We don't always fall in love with the right person but at what point do you accept things for what they are and move on?  Seth isn't innocent in this scenario either because he's not only lying to himself and his family but to everyone else as well.  He uses Alex in ways that give her false hope and while they both know it's wrong, neither one is willing to do what's right or best for both of them.

Alex loses her identity in Seth and that made me sad for her.  She doesn't know what a healthy relationship looks like because she's never been in one and when she's offered a chance to find out she squanders it. Was Dink the perfect guy for her?  I doubt it but I felt she was unfair and unkind to him especially when you consider the help he lends.   What happens to Seth is horrible and never acceptable regardless of your view of homosexuality. Some good did come out of a bad situation because it forced he and Alex to face the facts and be able to move forward.  I would've liked to have seen Alex's journey a little further down the road but that's just me.

The end of the book includes the author's thoughts on her faith and the topic of homosexuality and how the two relate to one another. This was a perk for me because I'm always curious as to what inspires a book.  All in all, I think this is well worth the read.  

Click here to find out more about author Reena Jacobs.